In honour of National Suicide prevention week, I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s blog post to my battle with mental health issues, and a review of the treatment I am currently receiving to help overcome this.
I’ve always known I was different, too quiet, too weird, too emotional…
I just never really took the time out to notice the negative impact this was having in my life.
January 2018 was the month that I decided to take my mental health a bit more seriously.
New year new me right?
After 8 months on the waiting list, I was finally booked in to receive CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy). I had a minuscule amount of knowledge on the different types of therapy offered, due to taking a semester-long course in my first year of university. My mom (yes I spell Mom with an O as opposed to a U) is also a trained counsellor, so she was able to give me a little bit of an insight ahead of my CBT sessions.
However, this didn’t ease my mind at all. You see, I’ve never actually fully confided in anyone about my issues. On the odd occasion I did, it was all very surface level… I just knew that no one would understand me or where I was coming from.
Skip to the present moment & I am now on my 5th session of CBT, beginning to have doubts as to whether this will be beneficial in the long run. In my first session, my therapist was quick to label me with depression & social anxiety which I thought rather unfair to those going through worse things than I. The sessions sometimes leave me feeling more down than before, mainly due to the fact that I sound ridiculous when trying to articulate thoughts & feelings into words.
One thing I have learnt so far is that we are not alone, although it may feel like that on most days, there are people ready to listen even at the times when you don’t feel like talking. I’ve been where you are, in fact, I’m still there, I can’t say that it gets better but you do learn to adapt and rid yourself from unhealthy coping mechanisms that only provide a temporary release.
With that being said, if anyone ever needs to talk just send me a message, I’m here to listen.