In my 22 years on this planet, I seem to have many more regrets than years lived.
However my biggest regret has to be me not believing in myself & following my dreams.
From a young age I always wanted to act and that dream has never stopped following me up until this day. For me acting was somewhat of a therapy session. I was able to convey my other-wised bottled up emotions through another character, which helped me to channel my feelings into what could be regarded as a positive space.
I was so set on continuing my love for acting that I planned to study it at degree level. Unfortunately this plan was cut short. My parents never had the opportunity to go to university, so I was pretty much clueless on the whole process & had to figure out a lot of things by myself. This is where everything went down hill.
I started to seek out advice and opinions from others who had gone to University. All of whom told me the same thing; “Don’t study drama, you cant do anything aside from being a drama teacher… it limits your options”. I was told to do something of more “substance”. So my indecisiveness kicked in & I jumped from Fashion buying and merchandising to International relations and business studies. It was literally a couple of days before my application was due that I settled on Business management and Media, Communications & Culture at Keele University. The grades to get into Keele were BBC, so I applied for a couple of foundation courses at the University of East Anglia and Oxford Brookes.
Somehow I managed to get ACC in my ALevels & was accepted into Keele. Clearly this wasn’t a well thought out plan, as I soon discovered that Keele was in the middle of nowhere, which meant that I couldn’t travel home regularly, yet alone travel to London each week for acting classes which I had hoped to sign up for 😦
My time at uni wasn’t the best, being an introvert didn’t really help much either but I felt as though I needed to stick it out. So I did and here I am just reflecting on the dream that I once had.
No matter how proud I seem to make everyone I’ll always be a failure to myself.